Saturday, December 15, 2012

Pictures and Shootings and Pants

Hello again, Let's start with a few pictures of my boys! I need to post some updates - we moved and have a new baby, so a lot has changed. But first I need to attempt to clear my head by expressing my thoughts and several recent events. I am so sickened and heartbroken and distressed about the school shooting in Connecticut.

I am praying for peace and comfort for their families and I'm praying for safety for children everywhere. Blake and I were discussing this and I said something along the lines of, "This is scary. I can hold family home evenings, read the scriptures, teach them to be righteous. I can put them in car seats, hold their hands around cars, have a year's supply of food storage so we don't starve in an emergency. . . There are a lot of things I can do to keep them safe. But how do I protect them when they are at school, when they're where they need to be doing what they should be doing." I'm grateful for the reminder I received that my children will never be alone, that our Heavenly Father will protect them and watch over them. The same applies to me. I will do everything I can, which is very little, and in the end, our Savior will fill in the gaps, like He always does.

The second thing that has gotten me quite worked up over the past few days is the feminist issues being discussed lately. I've read both sides, many comments, tried to decide what I though about it all. I know people on both sides, and I respect them both, but in the end, my opinion is: We all have questions we want answered. Take, for example, the twenty families who lost their children days before Christmas. I'm sure they want answers. And I wish I had some to offer them. But the most I have is a collection of Primary songs about our Savior's love for children. I have a handful of scriptures about peace, and comfort, and how the Lord has a plan. I don't know why they were allowed to be hurt , but I have the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and eternal families. Sometimes it doesn't feel like that's enough. But sometimes that's all we have.

The same applies to the women in the church. I read the list of reasons why some women feel unequal, and all that I can offer is the same sentiments. God has a plan. He loves us all. Women has a unique role in the church. Again, I don't feel like that's enough. I feel like that sounds trite and insincere. But I absolutely believe it. To you women out there who are suffering from feelings of inequality. I am sorry. I mean that with every fiber of my being. And I understand your points. I'm a woman, I'm a member of the church. While I personally do not feel unequal, I understand how some women may. But the only thing I can offer is: In the Lord's time.

 But again, we all have questions. I have several that gnaw at me almost daily. My mom divorced my dad, a righteous and loving man, because in the temple, "the Lord told her too." In the temple, where families are sealed for eternity, my mom was told to destroy a family and cause years of heartache. She was told to strain the relationships between siblings. This was five years ago and I am still pained by this. My mom divorced my dad, but also seriously impaired her relationship with me. And I am not able, at this time, to work on repairing that. Thanksgiving was difficult, and I am dreading arranging seeing family for Christmas. My question is why? Was my mom really instructed to do that? Because in my heart I lean towards no. I do not believe that is the Lord's way. So is my mom making it up? Or exaggerating? I don't know why that happened.

I wonder what will happen to people who are righteous and kind and generous, but inactive in the church. I owe a great deal to my extended family who provided so many things that I lacked. I made it through difficult times and I really owe it to my aunts who sacrificed so many things on my behalf and they didn't have to do that. But they are inactive. So my question is, during the final judgement, how is everything weighted? Because, if allowed, I will speak in the behalf of their goodness. I once made a joke about a time I had been wronged by one of my siblings. I think my aunt knew that it was still painful because she looked my in the eye and said, "I am so sorry that happened." And I am so grateful for that simple experience because she mourned with me as I mourned, and comforted me when I stood in need of comfort. That is also a commandment. She understood when my own mother and sisters didn't. My aunt reminded me of my Savior's love for me. I hope that counts for a lot.

I wonder about those who are afflicted with homosexuality. The church has not revealed to them many answers.

 I think of children who are severely disabled. What is their purpose in life? Because I do not believe that the Lord sends people to earth and their only job is to teach others how to serve. I wonder why. When people answer this question, they say the same things: They have their own trials. They are some of the most elect. They are hear to share glimpses of heaven. But I am not sure that those answers are the ones that parents of children with disabilities are longing to hear. And there will be a time when our questions are answered and the truth of all things will be made known unto us.

I sometimes experience a little bit of guilt for how richly blessed I am. I have a wonderful, loving, hardworking husband who is a great father to my two happy, healthy, handsome boys. We live in a beautiful home, something I never would have pictured myself in. We are blessed with many nice things. And I think of my dear sister (hope you don't mind that I put you in here!) expecting their second baby and her husband is struggling to find a job. I think of people in other countries exposed to starvation and wars and human-trafficking. My question is, why am I here and others where they are? I can promise you that it is not a matter of righteousness, because I am more richly blessed than I deserve.

 I am absolutely plagued by this question: In my sophomore year of high school, we read the book Night by Elie Wiesel. It is a traumatizing true story about the holocaust. I do not recommend it at all. There is a part where people have been in concentration camps and they're starving to death. They are riding in a train in a cattle car, if I remember correctly, and some people are throwing bread to them. Anyway, a starving son kills his father over a piece of bread. My question is: What is that scene going to look like during judgement? Is that son accountable for that? He was starving and abused. Is that death going to be placed upon the heads of the Nazi leaders who started it? I don't know the answers. After being through what he'd been through, was he supposed to have the self-control? Are there insanity pleas in heaven?

Here is why I am frustrated with my fellow women. Now is not the time. We are not the only ones without answers. Children died yesterday. Their families are grieving. And instead of spreading the word of eternal families and the Plan of Salvation, we are in the news for perceived inequalities. And I do not mean that offensively, but the Lord's ways are perfect and He has things organized the way they need to be. If you are seriously distressed about women wearing dresses to church, by all means, wear pants. It's not a commandment. Find nice slacks, dress up and go to church and worship the Lord. Why the scene? Just wear your pants. By small and simple things, shall great things come to pass. And that means one person at a time, righteously, faithfully. If several years ago, women began wearing pants, one by one, when they felt they wanted to, then the culture would change and today the women wearing pants would not be called apostates. If you do not want to wear a dress, wear pants. And if somebody asks, politely and confidently explain that it isn't a commandment, that you are still in your Sunday best, and you renewed your covenants. If you cannot do that by yourself, if you need to have hundreds on people on your side before you make a stand, then your issues are a lot more serious than perceived inequalities.

Instead of a group organizing a protest, or an awareness campaign, whatever you want to call it, let's organize a fast. Let's all come together to pray for these families. The last days are here and there simply is not enough time to worry about silly things. People are starving, there are wars, there are child slaves. Children were killed in a school. The family is being attacked from so many angles. Everybody wants answers. They'll come when it's time. So patiently go about your work. You are blessed to be sealed to your children for time and all eternity and that is something that very few have. So count your blessings, be grateful for what you do know, don't cause a scene about what you don't, and find a way to prepare the world for the coming of our Savior.

I do not have time for trivialities.  There is work to be done.  I have boys to prepare for missions and I have one less year to do it.  So, I'm going to invite my mom over, kiss my kids, say a prayer for those in pain, clean my house and prepare for the Sabbath. Because there are far more important things in life. 

Friday, March 9, 2012


I decided to try blogging again. I never decided not to, it just happened, but here I am, starting anew.

A couple of things: A big congratulations to Blake and his $1000 bonus and 3% pay raise. We just found out about it today. I'm feeling inclined to making a list of sweet $1000 purchases - or we'll save it. We want to buy a new house over the summer. I am so proud of Blake. Sometimes he doesn't enjoy his job but he works so hard.

Next: We have a big announcement to make for Baby Number 2! I'm 13 weeks along and feeling pretty good. A little nauseated, a little tired, but overall doing great. I swear I knew the day I was pregnant though, because I had been doing such a good job of keeping my house clean, planning meals, grocery shopping with coupons and sales - I was rocking life. Then one day we had no clean socks, no clean dishes, no food, and I was desperate for a nap and I said to myself, "Wait a second...." And sure enough, Baby Number 2! We're due September 12.

Third: My dad is moving to Logan at the end of March. For the past year he's been living in Fairview and working in American Fork so we haven't seen Grandpa as much as we'd like. We're excited for him.

Fourth: My son is absolutely adorable. Johnny is such a little boy now. He's got likes, dislikes, personality, attitude, a sense of humor. You name it. He's a pretty popular kid in our ward. And for a kid who is only sixteen months, he sure knows how cool he is.

Fifth: I got a job working 15 hours as an aide at Spring Creek Middle School. I thought it would be such a great idea, but turns out maybe not. It's really hard to work - even that small number of hours. I told Blake to remind me that I do not enjoy working if I ever get any crazy idea

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Saturday, March 26, 2011


Well, Johnny Boy is sitting up over here nowadays. He's doesn't seem like a baby anymore . . . It went by fast. He wants to crawl, but can't yet and that's frustrating for him, but he's working on it. We need a while longer before that starts happening because we haven't baby proofed our house yet.
Spring is on it's way and that's just what I need!
I'm getting antsy to move, but we've got a while before that happens, so instead we're going to repaint some bedrooms and redo our bathroom. We want to stay in this house as long as we can, so we'll just turn this into a home sweet home instead.

I've put working on a poem I wrote a long time ago. I was thinking about it and decided that it would make a good gift book with the pretty pictures. So I'm going to submit it to a publisher! Three actually. I'm sending it into Deseret Books in the next few days and then if they say no, I've got two others I'm going to try. It's pretty exciting. I don't know how hopeful I'm feeling because it said on their author guidelines that they generally don't accept poetry, but I'm going to try to pass it of as a short story that happens to rhyme. We'll see.

Blake's doing well. Work is going along for him. Nothing new there.

Meanwhile, we're just plugging away here having a ball.

Our hometeachers always ask what's new and what they can do for us and every time we have nothing to say. We've settled into a nice routine where life is nice and organized.

I'm working on a few different projects and that's been keeping me busy. As we get closer to repainting I'll post some before and after pictures.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Johnny is Funny

Nothing new here - Just a few videos to share.
We're all doing great. I'm so ready for Spring, but other than that, no complaints.
Blake is just working away, Johnny and I hold down the fort here, and the dog spends her days napping on the couch.

Or in the rocking chair.

Actually, I couldn't get the videos on here. They're on Facebook though, or I'll come back in a little while to figure it out.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Sometimes I spend all my free time reading other people's blogs instead of updating mine . . .

Things here are going great. Johnny has started solid foods and loves it! It's fun to feed him and he makes such a cute mess (I wonder how long I will think that )
On Monday Johnny will be four months and has his next doctor's appointment. I don't even have a guess as to how much he weighs. He's getting pretty big, though. He's got two cousins who are two months younger than him and he towers over them.
We went to a Superbowl party with Blake's family and that was good - I didn't watch any of the game, but we had fun.
I took the GRE and that went really well. Three long hard weeks of studying did not go to waste. The plan is for graduate school starting summer of 2012.
Other than that things are pretty quiet. Johnny's a good sleeper at night, but naps during the day are treasures that are rarely seen, but we have a fun time just hanging out.
I'm sure there are more updates, I just can't think of them right now. I was up quite a bit last night . . . The doggie door in our bedroom usually does a great job of staying shut, but it was windy last night and it blew the door right open and the wind right into our room so it made for a long, chilly night.

Saturday, December 25, 2010


Well, its been way too long since I've posted, but since I've got a sleeping baby boy, I decided I better get to it.
Today is Christmas and it was a great day for my family. Blake really surprised me with my gift - which I love! He got me a Willow Tree people nativity set. He also surprised me by buying candy and stuff for the stockings and actually stuffing them. This Christmas presented a few difficulties when it came to shopping and such - you know, with Johnny, so it was nice to have some Christmas surprises.
On Christmas Eve we went to a party with Blake's family. It was a huge turn out and was a great party. They did a Nativity scene with all the little kids and Johnny got to be Baby Jesus. That was a neat experience. I did laugh, however, because the girl playing the angel carried him in because "Mary" was like four years old and I'm sure that Johnny was at least half her size. (PS. At his two months appointment he was 23 1/2 inches long and 11 pounds and 12 ounces. That's the 72nd and 52nd percentiles, respectively.)
My dad also came up huge with some great gifts, although it wasn't a car, that's what my 17 year old sister got. And not just any car. She got a 2008 Hyundai Accent. Nice, new, shiny, and I'm excited for her. If anyone deserves it, she does, so no comments on her being lucky or spoiled or anything. :) My dad also got our dear doggy, Annyong, a giant bone, which she spent the entire afternoon outside eating. She brought it inside hours later and it was mostly gone.
Blake's mom got me a ton! and I mean A TON!! of scrapbooking supplies so I've got to get busy on that. I'm excited. I'm no good at it, but I'm excited anyway.

My dad came into town and was staying at a motel with a swimming pool so we packed up some key lime pie and cheesecake and all headed over there to go swimming. Including Johnny. I think he loved it - by which I mean he didn't cry. Also, I have got to point out how adorable I think Johnny's swim trunks and bathrobe is - and also how adorable I think my whole family is.
I think our camera had a hard time focusing with the water in the background, so some are poor quality. Enjoy the pictures, and Merry Christmas!
I sure wish I could figure out pictures on this . . . I thought for sure I had loaded like ten more.